The Evolution Of Sammy Sosa’s Weird Face, In Photos

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Beloved baseball legend Sammy Sosa is back in the news! Unfortunately, it’s not baseball-related – it’s because he looks like a glistening spiral-cut ham.

Sosa’s “I only subsist on bowls of Franken Berry” look is presumably the end result of heavy usage of a skin-bleaching cream. But pink Sammy isn’t anything new – here’s what he looked like in 2009:

What does the future hold for Mr. Sosa? How much pinker can a man get? Here’s what I assume his next 20 years will look like:

2018 – Pinker

2020: Even pinker

2023: Pinkest

2026: Actual glazed ham

2028: Glazed ham wearing glasses

2030: Slightly pinker glazed ham

2031: Slightly pinker glazed ham with a comically-sized bite taken out of it

2034: Sepia-toned, like in an old-timey cowboy photo

2037: Like 2017, but he’s wearing a blue hat