Ted Nugent Not Shooting or Molesting Anyone During His White House Visit Is the Greatest Accomplishment of Trump’s First 100 Days



President Trump has found victories hard to come by during his early days in office. Whether it’s getting overruled by some judge on “an island in the Pacific” or failing to deliver vengeance for The Bowling Green Massacre, the president can’t seem to score a signature win to cap his first 100 days in office.

Until now.

That’s because Trump successfully hosted unstable hard rocker Ted Nugent in the White House for a full four hours without Nugent shooting or molesting anyone on staff. That’s bigger than Lincoln, FDR, and LBJ combined.

ANAHEIM, CA - JANUARY 15: Musician Ted Nugent attends the 2010 NAMM Show - Day 2 at the Anaheim Convention Center on January 15, 2010 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images for NAMM)

Did Trump pass sweeping healthcare reform during his first 100 days, as he promised he would? No. But did a hooting, whooping Nugent storm the White House lawn with an AR-15, vaporizing every squirrel, pigeon, and Secret Service Agent in sight? Also no. Big win!

Did Trump wipe out ISIS, using knowledge that exceeds that of the most seasoned generals? No, and in fact, ISIS just attacked Paris. But more importantly, did Nugent apprehend and quickly marry a middle school girl on a tour of the White House, as his lyrics and personal biography suggest he might? Thanks to Trump, he did not.

Analysis: Donald Trump has had the most successful 100 days of any president in history.

Republican Presidential candidate businessman  Donald Trump gestures during the Republican Presidential debate sponsored by Fox Business and the Republican National Committee at the North Charleston Coliseum and Performing Arts Center in Charleston, South Carolina on January 14, 2016. AFP PHOTO/ TIMOTHY A. CLARY / AFP / TIMOTHY A. CLARY        (Photo credit should read TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images)