Taco Bell Introduces Fashion Line For People Who Want Their Friends To Associate Them With Taco Bell

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(Photo by Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Taco Bell)

What we wear says a lot about us. A woman in a Black Lives Matter shirt is saying that she is dedicated to racial justice. A hipster in a Fred Segal sweater is saying that Mom and Dad always keep the ATM balance topped off.

But until now, there’s been an underserved sector of the fashion clientele: People who want to be publicly associated with Taco Bell.

It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. For far too long, there have been no clothing items that project to friends, relatives, bosses, and strangers: “I am not an employee of Taco Bell, but I would like you to mentally affiliate me with their restaurants and menu items.”

Well, that all ends today, with the launch of Taco Bell’s branded fashion line. Does this mean that you can finally own a one-piece bathing suit that says “Crunch”? Yes, you can. What about a cropped hoodie with their corporate logo? Sí, tu puedes.

Basically, if you want to walk into a room and make people immediately think of 99¢ bean burritos and taco shells made out of a fried egg, this merchandise is for you.

And if you want to walk into a room and make people immediately think of toxic dyes and sub-minimum wage labor, this merchandise is also for you, because it’s made by Forever 21.

All things considered, wearing these Forever 21/Taco Bell hoodies, bathing suits, and t-shirts is the only acceptable way to let the world know your desire to be associated with Taco Bell restaurants. Because the only other way would be to actually work there, and no one wants to do that.