Supreme Court Fine With Swimming to Work, as Long as Obama’s Legacy is Tarnished

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An historic global climate change deal was raised a few months ago, in which world leaders agreed to collectively stop being d-bags to the polar ice caps. As part of that agreement the U.S. would have become less flatulent by regulating emissions from coal-fired power plants—a plan the President unveiled last year.

Twenty-nine states, dozens of corporations and industry groups, also known as Dick Cheney’s Justice League, legally challenged the plan, citing that it’s too expensive and the classic “we’ll all be dead by then anyway” argument.

Now, this week, the Supreme Court has issued a stay on the plan, presumably in between games of pinochle. The vote was unprecedented, as never before had the highest court in the land halted a regulation before review by a federal appeals court while metaphorically flipping the bird to the commander-in-chief.

With the aforementioned global climate change deal requiring every country to lower emissions, the Supreme Court decided it wasn’t ready for America to be held to the same standards as lesser nations—which is all of them, apparently.

Another theory is that Justice Antonin Scalia simply wants  to see this happen in real life.