Talk about a Friday news dump! Chief White House strategist Steve Bannon has been let go by Donald Trump, and it’s pretty much exactly like HBO’s Game of Thrones, somehow. Allow me to explain.
Okay, so Steve Bannon is like the little guy, uh… Turok (Editor’s note: Tyrion) in that he has a bunch of scars on his face and everyone hates him. Donald Trump is the emperor, or the king. Whoever’s in charge right now, that’s who Trump is. The duke? Whatever. The point is, he “fired” Steve Bannon using his “dragon” – A.K.A. his Chief of Staff John Kelly. Are you following so far? Good.
Anyway, if you’re an avid Thronehead like me, you know that “winter is on the way.” Well, my friends, winter is no longer on the way at the Trump White House – winter has arrived. It’s here now, and it’s cold, and that’s… bad? I forget if winter is bad in the show. It gets really hot in the summer, so wouldn’t that also be bad? Not sure if they’re waiting for winter, like, all excited or whatever. In any case, it’s winter now, in politics.
All right, so Steve Bannon. He’s Turok (Editor’s note: Tyrion), and he’s mad as hell on account of the dragons. What’s his next move? If I had to guess, and using Thrones as a guide, he’s going to move to an island of some kind, which, of course, is Breitbart. This basically speaks for itself. I don’t think I need to go into any more detail, or say the name of the island, or if this has anything to do with Game of Thrones at all, or if I’ve even watched Game of Thrones since the second season.
Ah, shit. Wait. You know what? Turok (Editor’s note: Tyrion) is a good guy, I’m fairly sure. Steve Bannon is the winter villain… uh, the Ice King. Ol’ Icy. Yeah. Scratch everything else. Forget the island. The dragons are still relevant, I think. Okay. Steve Bannon is the Ice King, and he’s going to attack President Trump, who is the normal king. The non-ice version. Got it.
Damn it. Wait. I don’t even know if that’s right. Turok (Editor’s note: It’s Tyrion. Jesus Christ almighty.) is a good guy, sure, but isn’t he also one of the, uh… Bannisters? (Editor’s note: fuck this) They’re the bad guys. Huh. Let’s take a step back here. There’s a throne, and there’s a game. Simple. Is Bannon the throne or the game? It remains to be seen, but I’m leaning throne. The game, of course, is President Trump. Or, wait, no – it’s the 2020 election. Ah, never mind. Nope. The game is Trump. The damn game is Trump.
There you have it, folks: Steve Bannon is the throne and the game is Trump. Boom. Hopefully this proves that I’m aware of both a popular TV show and politics. Please follow me on Twitter at @PhimosisPundit.