Adele’s “Hello” Phone Call Allegedly Tapped By NSA

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FIELD OF GREENISH HUE — The U.S. National Security Agency (NSA) reportedly tapped the famous phone call of the British pop star Adele to her handsome ex-boyfriend, WikiLeaks said on Monday.

The phone call, which takes place entirely in sepia, was said to contain several pleas from Adele to her comely former beau to forgive her for frequently leaving the kettle on. Surprisingly, the now-famous music video has remained entirely true to the actual conversation. When she says the words, “Hello from the other side,”  her ex-boyfriend replies, “What other side?  What the f**k are you talking about?”

The report suggested the NSA spying on Adele and her broad-shouldered paramour had gone on far longer and more widely than previously realized. When asked for a comment, an NSA spokesperson said that the organization was monitoring the diva because it suspects her fan base, much of which is pre-adolescent girls, is being heavily recruited by the Islamic State of Syria and the Levant (ISIS).

The news may strain a once stable relationship between the NSA and Ms. Adkins. She said that this is especially painful because she once considered the intelligence organization “a close friend.”