The Iowa GOP caucuses are a lot like an Amish fashion show: the more conservative you are, the less likely you’ll be chased out of town by a pitchfork-wielding mob.
Ted Cruz seems to be the natural inheritor of the “most conservative” throne, even though he’s competing against the state’s two most recent victors — Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee. And you know why.
It must be his charm, right?
With his face that that doesn’t seem to be attached to the rest of his head, Ted Cruz showed off how personable he can be this weekend by failing to get a hug from his own daughter.
Then it’s humor, right?
“Would it kill Republicans to crack a joke?” he often says before laying down a bunker buster like, “Reaganomics means you start a business in your garage. Obamanomics means you move into your parent’s garage.”
Okay, it must be his willingness to be wrong about everything. Yep, that’s it.
With the sad realization that same-sex marriage is boring and a wane in the War on Women, conservative Christians seem to be obsessed by more Christ-centered issues — like taking away health insurance from poor people and deporting grandmothers.
And when it comes to those issues, Cruz is a champ. He shut down the government to deny people access to Obamacare and he’d probably deport his own grandmother if it would give him a few extra votes in Davenport.
But the most important quality conservatives seem to crave is a complete denial of reality. And that’s what it takes to imagine Cruz as the next Ronald Reagan.
Cruz’s entire campaign is based on denying that 13 million Americans have gained jobs and 17 million have gained health insurance under President Obama, bullshit so rich, creamy and thick that even Fox News’ Chris Wallace had to fact check him on it.
“Fact checkers are not fair and impartial,” Cruz told Wallace. “They are liberal editorial journalists. And they have made it their mission to defend Obamacare.”
Ted Cruz is the kind of candidate religious conservatives love because he looks at his opponents and sees people who are deceitful, cold and immune to facts. He sees people who are as scary to him as Ted Cruz is to a child he’s about to hug.
In Ted Cruz, conservatives see somebody who scares America as much as America scares them. And that’s the man who usually wins the Iowa GOP caucus.