OJ Simpson Released, And The Hunt For The Real Killer Resumes

(Photo by Jason Bean-Pool/Getty Images)

Bad news, Real Killer of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. For 23 years and counting, there’s been one man determined to find you and bring you to justice: O.J. Simpson. And now O.J. is out of jail, and he’s probably already resumed his hunt for you.

Since murdering Brown Simpson and Goldman 23 years ago, the Real Killer has largely laid low. He (or she) has been careful not to replicate any of the tactics of the double murder that took place on LA’s Bundy Drive in June 1994. No gruesome stabbings, discarded black gloves, or swaths of O.J.’s DNA (planted as a red herring, of course).

No, the Real Killer — clear sociopath that he is — has meticulously avoided any carbon copies of his grisly crime. And that makes him all the more dangerous. For decades, he laid low while Simpson searched Florida golf clubs and Las Vegas sports memorabilia houses, cleverly avoiding the justice he deserves.

Of course, the Real Killer caught a break these past 9 years while Simpson was locked in a Nevada jail for a crime he committed during the multi-year manhunt. But now that the Juice is back on the street, the search resumes in earnest, with Simpson probably working twice as hard to make up for lost time.

Simpson will also be aided in his hunt by a documentary that came out while he was in prison. The film, entitled OJ: Made in America has uncovered voluminous details about The Real Killer’s handiwork — so much so that a suspect profile has emerged.

Based on available forensic information, the Real Killer is now aged 69-71, is roughly 6’1” in height, and likely profiles as a Californian who’s also spent time in western New York, drives Hertz Rental Cars, and has personally met Leslie Nielsen. He was last seen in Nevada.

Those are your clues, Juice. Now bring that killer to justice!