Now Is Not The Time To Discuss Gun Control; It’s The Time To Invest In Gun Stocks


Mr. and Mrs. Barnswallow, thank you so much for coming in for this financial consultation. You’re both looking well. Now before we begin, Mrs. Barnswallow, I couldn’t help but notice the Everytown For Gun Safety pin on that beautiful handbag of yours.

I know it’s a sensitive time in the wake of the Las Vegas massacre, but if I might offer just a bit of professional advice:

Now is not the time to discuss gun control. As a financial professional, I’d actually argue that now is the time to invest in gun stocks.

Now Mr. and Mrs. Barnswallow, hear me out, please. I know that probably wasn’t what you were expecting to hear from a financial advisor that you see maybe twice a year, max — but that was actually my entire rationale for suggesting this meeting. I know this might sound a little odd, but the period following a mass shooting is a great time for gun stocks.

Is it a bit cynical? I admit that freely. But Mr. and Mrs. Barnswallow, it’s my professional obligation to provide you with the best investment advice I can, and the reality is that, here in America, gun stocks almost always spike right after a gun-fueled killing spree. The price just “shoots” right up, if you’ll forgive my insensitive pun. You won’t? Okay, fair enough.

See, after a mass shooting, gun enthusiasts reason that the carnage will inspire American legislators to ban the sale of automatic and semi-automatic rifles on the grounds that weapons of war have no purpose other than mass slaughter, so they should be removed from civilized society. Obviously this never happens, but I think you follow the logic.

Anyway I don’t want to get into politics. Personally, I’m not registered to vote and think they’re all a bunch of crooks. And when I say “they,” it’s non-specific. I don’t sweat the political details; I’m a money guy.

You don’t have to decide right now. Just think it over. But I will say that I could execute a quick purchase of a really robust mutual fund that includes holdings in Smith & Wesson, Glock, and Remington — a few great American companies that are posting numbers like it’s Newtown all over again.

Give it a day — but not too long, because we want to catch the wave — and give me a call.

Thoughts and prayers.