Kayne West Tries to Put Allegations of Butt Play Behind Him

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Earlier this week in a Twitter nervous breakdown conveniently timed to promote the release of his new album, Kayne West blasted rapper Wiz Khalifa, which is a euphemism for cursing at him in outbursts he soon deleted.

West also brought up Khalifa’s wife Amber Rose’s past as a stripper. Something he knows because he used to date Amber Rose.

Rose blasted back with some tweets about how the rapper enjoys sexual activities involving his rear end that included the hashtag #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch.

Amorous activity involving the buttocks region is apparently bad because it is reminiscent of male homosexual sex, according to people who harbor unfortunate residual prejudices against gay people that America was supposed to have cured by changing our Facebook icon that one time.

Kayne got back on Twitter on Thursday night after the GOP debate convinced him that he couldn’t let allegations of ass play go unfounded or it may cost him a few points in the Iowa caucuses.

First he clarified that his attack on Khalifa had been sparked because he’d been confused by the use of the term “KK.” West thought it referred to his wife Kim Kardashian West but it actually referred to weed, thus providing Occam’s Razor: If a rapper uses a term you don’t know, assume he means weed.

West continued, “Exes can be mad but just know I never let them play with my ass… I don’t do that… I stay away from that area all together”.

As a truly masculine man, West understands the only purpose of a rear end is relieving yourself of feces; even wiping is kind of gay.

“I’m not into that kind of shit…” he added, suggesting that perhaps even pooping would push him past a Kinsey scale number he’s comfortable with.

But to reassure people that he is both heterosexual and also unsatisfied with conventional coitus, he added, “I like pictures and videos”.

In conclusion, he stated, “Me and my wife got the kind of love that can turn exes into best friends”. And that’s a love in complete denial that one’s rear end is an erogenous zone.