Pearls of Wisdom for Presidential Candidates Buried in Kanye’s Twitter Rant

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So Yeezy decided to change his album title to “Waves” from “Swish” and Wiz Khalifa for whatever reason decided to call into question the authenticity of said name change. Kanye did not take kindly to this perceived slight and proceeded to drop the hottest twitter rant since…well, since his last twitter rant about iPads and parenting or some shit.

This is not just pop culture ephemera, Yeezy laid down some serious knowledge that current presidential candidates could use to their advantage. Here are some things that will serve our would-be commanders-in-chief well in the coming months.

Mention that one of your opponents stole his whole style from Kid Cudi. Now, it might seem weird to mention that say, Jeb Bush, stole his steez from the spacey hip-hop artist Kid Cudi, but just imagine what the media will do to Jeb if he ever decides to wear sunglasses indoors. His whole career would be over.

Call your opponent’s spouse a stripper even if they’re not a stripper. If Donald Trump has taught us anything, it’s that the more outlandish the claim, the more likely people will believe it. For instance, Marco Rubio’s and Carly Fiorina’s spouses are dime pieces who have yet to suffer the wrath of the Democratic attack machine.

Number your tweets on a single topic. Twitter can be confusing. Mentions, retweets, vine loops… it’s getting a little out of hand. Seeing as many of our presidential candidates are sectagenarians who thought Twitter was a symptom of bird flu before their respective campaigns, this is a simple and easy way to keep the social media platform from becoming too complicated.

Say that you are the OG and should be respected as such. You think anyone is going to call you “low-energy” if you call yourself the “OG?” Exactly.

Compliment your opponent as a means to compliment  yourself. Kanye to Wiz: I think you dress cool. I wish I was tall and skinny.

Kanye to Himself: Maybe I couldn’t be skinny and tall but I guess I’ll take being the greatest artist of all time as a consolation prize.

Here’s one way Bernie Sanders could use the same template to his benefit: Bernie to Hillary: I think your pant suits are dope. I wish I was a pant suit.

Bernie to Himself: Maybe I can’t be a pant suit but I guess I’ll take solving income inequality for an entire generation of Americans as a consolation prize.