Get Ready, Grindr: The Values Voter Summit Begins Today

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(Al Drago/CQ Roll Call)

Here’s a stock tip for any day-traders looking to make a quick buck this weekend: Buy shares in Grindr. Why? Because the anti-LGBT Values Voter Summit starts in Washington today, and gay hookup sites always blow up during right-wing events.

At last year’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland, local Grindr activity experienced a 120% increase. That surge, weighed against the capacity of Quicken Loans Arena, suggests that 5% of all convention attendees made use of Grindr over the course of the week. Male escort services spiked as well.

Another reliable surge occurs during the annual Conservative Political Action Committee conference, where Grindr use is so common that the Human Rights Campaign ran ads on the app this past year to chide attendees for sexual hypocrisy.

Now it’s time for the Values Voter Summit — famous for reactionary preachers quoting Leviticus by day and then having secretive gay sex all night long.

With the wide range of far-right attendees at Values Voters, it’ll be curious to see who ends up accounting for the inevitable increase in Grindr traffic. Maybe it’ll be some of the aforementioned preachers. Maybe it’ll be some homophobic lobbyists. Maybe it’ll be closeted politicians from North Dakota. Or Virginia. Or North Carolina. Or Alabama. Or Washington. Or California. Or Idaho. Or Indiana.

The point is, with a lot of anti-LGBT activists descending upon Washington, it’s a pretty safe bet that we’re about to see some of the wild sexual activity that tends to surround any convention of like-minded people. It’s especially likely that some of that wild sexual activity will include the kind of gay sex that its participants have been condemning and legislating against.

And that means Grindr’s stock price is about to spike.