TGIF, Digheads! Now, a Friday means a few things: you open your Michelob a little early, you loosen your tie a little bit, and you get the Dig’s Three Martini Mailbag. As if that weren’t enough, Friday now also means a brand new episode of the Digcast, my weekly podcast!
This week I talked with Obama speechwriter-turned-Hollywood screenwriter Jon Lovett, who explained how Donald Trump could win and, more importantly, gave me notes on my future blockbuster screenplay. As it turns out, Mr. Lovett was so intimidated by my superior writing prowess he tried to commit an unspeakable act. Smash that download button!
Also in today’s episode, I tell you the big winners (the Ba’ath Party, Tony Blair, and friendship) and losers (Jeremy Corbyn, young people) of the week plus field a phone call from my old blogosphere pal, National Review writer Billiards Fool.
But just because I’m transitioning from Polk Award-nominated pundit to coast-to-coast radio star doesn’t mean I’m too good to take your questions. I found the time in my busy recording schedule to answer a couple of your pressing political questions. Let’s go:
Dig, what do you make of this Roger Ailes business? This is sort of a huge deal for Fox, isn’t it?
Jesse Burben in Palm Springs, Florida
Well, let me start off by saying that this does not seem like the Roger Ailes that I know. The Roger that I have known at cocktail parties and media soirees is a gentleman of the first order, and a respect of females. That said, it’s always possible that prescription pain pills, advanced aging, or “family madness” experienced by our most prominent and inbred families is augmenting his behavior.
That said, The Dig believes women. This is a major deal for Fox, who could see their expansions into late night programming with popular shows such as “Race Hustler Hootenanny” and “Da Chair Room” upended by a scandal at the highest levels of the company. Let’s hope things get worked out, because I would love to be a guest on any one of these shows!
I bet you knew this already, but I’m already the world’s biggest fan of your new radio show! The Digcast is the ripped-from-the-headlines multimedia thrillride we need, guided by the firm but kind hand of the savviest pundit to ever walk God’s earth… you!
Sure, there were some rough parts in the first episode. For one, your disrespectful cohost insulted you for the entirety of it. For another, you accidentally allowed a loathsome GAWKER editor on when everyone knows that that website’s comment sections are dominated by FASCIST moderators who have frankly caused Jalopnik to go downhill by deleting all train-related comments even if it obviously pertains to automotives, such as when a train is carrying automotives or when an automotive is driving to the train museum. But good luck convincing the COWARD Jalopnik moderators to uphold THEIR OWN DAMN TERMS OF SERVICE when they automatically ban anyone who so much as tracks down their cell phone number and calls them to calmly and patiently argue their case about the propriety of train-related message board comments. Hell, Dig, I don’t even think Marcia Clark could pull off such a legal feat!!
Anyhoo, now that you’re a big time radio host interviewing all kinds of celebs, I was thinking it’s high time the Dig had a Wikipedia page! I gotta say it’s pretty unusual for a pundit who has reported on the news for over 30 years to not have a Wikipedia page — in fact, the only mention of you on Wikipedia is on the page for the “Reply All” podcast. After all, Nate Silver has a very long Wikipedia page, and you out-predicted him in this year’s primaries.
If it so pleases you, Dig, allow me to volunteer to start the Carl Diggler Wikipedia page. It won’t be any trouble finding legitimate news sources to cite, since you and Alex Pareene discussed all of those Gawker articles about you getting your foot stuck in a bucket and such on the first episode of your podcast.
There is just one small problem. I have been IP banned from editing Wikipedia, commenting on Wikipedia Talk Pages, commenting on Wikipedia User Pages, and hanging out in the Wikimedia Commons Lounge. This was through no fault of my own, as I had always been a diligent Wikipedian. What happened was a cabal of corrupt Wikipedians who MORONICALLY believe that Otis elevators are superior to ThyssenKrupp elevators when in fact the opposite is true conspired to have me banned by vandalizing the ThyssenKrupp Wikipedia page, thus inciting a flame war that landed me in front of the ArbCom and, well, to make a long story short, I am unable to edit Wikipedia from anywhere in the continental United States and Canada and Mexico.
HOWEVER, since I know having a Wikipedia page is so important to you, I am willing to fly to Estonia and use an IP-masker in order to launch the Carl Diggler page. Just say the word, Dig, and I’ll book the next flight to Tallinn!
David “The Milk” Milkberg in Essex Co., NJ
What made you think that I, A WRITER, would need you, AN OAF, to write MY Wikipedia page? I have so many friends in the Encyclopedia industry that I can pull any name off my Rolodex, make one phone call, and have a Webby Award-nominated Wikipedia page, just like that.
You are not to fly to Estonia to edit my Wikipedia page or for any other reason. Do I make myself clear?
Carl “The Dig” Diggler has covered national politics for 30 years and is the host of the Digcast, a weekly podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud. Got a question for the Dig? E-mail him at email@example.com or Tweet to @carl_diggler.