5 Black Women Who Are Better Than You At Everything

Read

If you’ve been sleeping under your proverbial rock, you may have missed the fact that women are presently running shit. Now fellas, before you get your tighty whiteys in an uproar, please understand that this has been a truth since sistas was out here writing out the math for space shuttle launches. And since ESPN seems to be more afraid of David Duke’s golf partners than the truth, allow me to present you with just a few of the women out there that are better than you at pretty much everything. And, yes…they are all Black.

1. Serena Williams

She’s out here having babies and finding love while simultaneously being possibly the greatest athlete of our generation. Yup. Over Lebron, Brady, Usain, those dudes that be winning hot dog contests…all of them. Grand Slams, U.S. and Australian Open consecutive victories, bunches of records broken, slayage in Beyoncé’s “Sorry” video. Her mere physical presence seems to scare the bejeezus out of her doping counterparts.

Here’s why this is incredible: Serena is from Compton, California. Folks that look like her, statistically, don’t make it out of Compton, let alone smash gender stereotypes and societal norms – you can’t look like her AND play like her?! Yes you can. All hail, Queen Serena.

2. Jemele Hill

She’s been dropping truth bombs since before the Trump administration got all frazzled and announced blah blah “not white supremacist” yada yada “fire her” yakkity smackity “we hate any media reporting anything that makes us look bad, especially if it’s from a woman, a black woman with a voice, that works for a powerful network, EVEN though the latest incarnation of Miss America seemed to be lauded for criticizing Trump in very similar fashion.” In the era of fake news and alternative facts, Jemele Hill exercised her first amendment authority both as a citizen of our country and as a journalist – speaking her truth.

3. Rihanna

She developed a makeup line for literally every skin color known to man. Fenty Beauty’s dark shades have completely SOLD OUT – online, in-stores, in space – all gone. She has her own sneaker line that helped boost Puma sales by 40% this year. Humanitarian of the Year speech at Harvard? Check. Summer anthem with DJ Khaled? Check. And she STILL finds enough time to dance for Carnival with her people; this Bajan-born beauty is a full-blown philanthropic, entrepreneurial powerhouse – clothes, music, fashion icon…bow down.

4. Issa Rae

By Hollywood industry standards, Issa Rae shouldn’t even be here being this awesome and good and walking red carpets like she belongs there. This all thanks to the good ol’ boys club that still whitewashes every movie and TV show that comes down the pipeline, no matter how obvious it may be (looks in the general direction of Scarlett Johansson). Her award-winning HBO show Insecure, which started as a low-budget web series called  Awkward Black Girl, is pretty groundbreaking for a few reasons. It stars her, a dark-skinned woman with *gasp* other Black actors playing lead roles. In fact, Insecure just might be the most melanated series on mainstream TV.  In case you were confused by the term “Black Girl Magic” and what it represents, look up Issa Rae and get educated.

5. Beyoncé

I mean, really? Do I REALLY need to explain why? Recorded possibly the best album of 2016, launched a 49-city tour that grossed over $200 million at the box office, pushed out twin humans and is apparently also raising a mini-emcee in the making (“I ain’t never seen a ceiling”…who are you Blue, WHO???). She can still sing and dance pretty much anybody under the table, and do it all in heels. She might just be the hardest working (and probably most multi-talented) human in showbiz.

This list is not comprehensive by any stretch of the imagination. Please google Sloane Stephens, Lena Waithe and Makaila Ulmer (who is 11 by the way). There are a bunch of women better at doing anything than the whole lot of us men.

And let’s not forget – women on average still get paid less than men. You gotta ask yourself – how dope would you be if you were auto-categorized as a second class citizen? Gentlemen, it’s time to stand and applaud our better halves for…well, being better.