Here’s a quick scenario:
Let’s say you want to bring attention to ESPN’s strange and controversial decision to remove a broadcaster named Robert Lee from an upcoming college football game. Do you…
- Organize a protest at ESPN’s headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut.
- Boycott ESPN and all ESPN-related products and channels.
- Go to Starbucks and buy a $6 vanilla latte.
If you chose 3, congratulations! You’re most likely a fan of right-wing firebrand Jack Posobiec!
Go to Starbucks today and tell them your name is #RobertLee!
— Jack Posobiec 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) August 23, 2017
Surely, uh, buying coffee at Starbucks will take down those libtards at ESPN. I’ll be honest, though: it’s kinda refreshing to see a protest that hearkens back to Baked Alaska’s classic “Trump Cup” campaign.
1) Go to Starbucks & tell them your name is Trump
2) If they refuse take video
Pls share & spread the word pic.twitter.com/huPj4g6cqY
— Baked Alaska™ (@bakedalaska) November 18, 2016
I genuinely hope the go-to conservative move of “protesting a company by purchasing products from them” never goes out of style. But what’s next for these guys? Surely not every controversy can be solved by drinking overpriced coffee? Here’s how I assume they’ll respond to a few potential situations:
Scenario: Honey Nut Cheerios rebrands their famous bee mascot as Latino
Alt-Right Response: Go to Starbucks and give your name as Latino Bumblebee
Scenario: Monsanto announces new corn/sorghum hybrid known as “Cornghum”
Alt-Right Response: Go to Starbucks and purchase any product with corn in it
Scenario: ESPN fires college basketball announcer who changed his name to Adolf Hitler
Alt-Right Response: Go to Starbucks and give your name as “ESPN Bad Rehire Hitler Please”