Congratulations To Lyft On Their Latest High-Tech Innovation: The City Bus

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The tech gurus of Silicon Valley have done it again. In a breakthrough of absolutely mammoth proportions, the geniuses over at Lyft have come up with perhaps the greatest vehicular innovation of the 21st century: the bus.

This is legitimately just a city bus. You have invented a thing that has been around for decades. This is like if you came up with some sort of foldable piece of fabric on a stick to protect yourself from inclement weather, added a Bluetooth speaker, and called it RainPole. Don’t do that, by the way, because I’m in the process of patenting RainPole. RainPole: Because The Future Might Be Wet, But You Don’t Have To Be.

How progressive and forward-thinking, and definitely not literally exactly what buses were designed for.

Wow! Just like – you guessed it – a bus!

Yes, that is an accurate summary of how buses work. But hey – it’s a pretty simplistic description. Maybe if we get into the nitty-gritty of Lyft Shuttle, we’ll see that it’s actually quite a different concept.

Okay… still pretty bus-like.

Yeah, definitely bus-adjacent at the very least.

Okay, this is just a fucking bus. You straight up Googled “bus wikipedia” and reworded it to sound somewhat innovative. It’s just a city bus minus the poor people you hate.

Great job, Lyft. I’ll give you this: at least you didn’t name it “Büs.”