Completely Secure Man Challenges His Secretary Of State To IQ Contest

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(Michael Reynolds-Pool/Getty Images)

The President of the United States, an obviously secure man confident of his own self worth, challenged his secretary of state to an IQ contest in a newly-published Forbes interview.

The president — whose personal insecurities, if he even had any, surely dissipated upon assuming the office once held by George Washington and Thomas Jefferson — obviously has no need for an IQ contest with the nation’s top diplomat, but he extended the gesture as a mature, self-confident courtesy.

“And I can tell you who is going to win,” he added.

This completely secure man, who as the Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces operates the largest nuclear arsenal in the world, was calmly, maturely reacting to an alleged anecdote wherein his secretary of state called him a “moron” who didn’t understand his own country’s foreign policy.

The gentlemanly offer of an IQ contest stems from a long presidential tradition of mature, forward-thinking diplomacy. Think of the Treaty of Paris, the Louisiana Purchase, the Yalta Conference, and the Camp David Accords. The Trump/Tillerson IQ contest slots right in among those — only instead of ending wars or averting them, it’s an IQ contest. Yeah.

Needless to say, the Trump/Tillerson State Department is facing a litany of pressing world issues. A nuclear-armed North Korea, the ravaged Caribbean, the collapsing Venezuelan state, and the fraught relationship with Mexico are just a few of the frontburner items… that can be turned to after the IQ contest is done.

The proposed IQ contest also elevates Forbes magazine as a key conduit by which members of the current administration can communicate with each other, exchange ideas, and challenge each other to IQ contests. Look for other cabinet departments to get involved, and before long tax policy, justice department directives, and disaster responses can all be dictated through the pages of Forbes.

It’ll be like a “situation room” for the modern era… only try to name a past situation room that had a list of the 400 richest Americans! MAGA, baby.