Coincidence? All Of The Football Games Yesterday Were Good

Read

Let’s play a quick game of “spot the difference.”

There’s one correct answer: the games in Week 3 were way better than the Week 2 garbage pile.

Seahawks 12, 49ers 9? Panthers 9, Bills 3? Texans 13, Bengals 9? Horrendous.

The Eagles winning on a 61 yard field goal? Two overtime games? A somehow exciting Colts-Browns game? Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Here’s my theory: all the games were good this week because of the anthem protests. They got the players fired up to perform better on the field. Let’s take a look at some of the evidence:

Atlanta 30, Detroit 26

This was an edge-of-your-seat thriller that ended on a controversial call. Did the players kneel? You better believe it.

(Photo by Rey Del Rio/Getty Images)

Indianapolis 31, Cleveland 28

An unexpected gem of a game between two bad teams. Was there pregame kneeling? Yep!

(Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

Green Bay 27, Cincinnati 24

Great game? Check. Protests? Check.

(Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)

Now, do I have hard empirical proof of this? No, of course not – but I think we can all agree that it’d be really great if racist NFL fans were forced to choose between “no anthem protests and bad football” or “lots of anthem protests and good football.” You want the players to shut up? Okay, sure! Enjoy box scores that look like high-scoring hockey games!

Do your part to spread the word: when players exercise their First Amendment rights during the national anthem in order to draw attention to inequality and thereby celebrate the values to which this country aspires, the quality of football increases. It’s a fact.

Allegedly.