CAFE’s Very Important Pros & Cons of Legalizing Marijuana

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This week, a 2,000-page federal spending bill was passed that included a provision lifting the federal ban on medicinal marijuana. Following years of raids by federal agents, medical marijuana dispensaries and users are now safe under this new legislation. While full legalization, both medicinal and recreational, remains up for debate in Congress, let’s take a look at some of the benefits and disadvantages of ending the prohibition on marijuana.

  • Helps treat glaucoma, multiple sclerosis, and other diseases you saw on the Discovery Channel while high
  • Have to pretend you still care about the versatility and usefulness of industrial hemp
  • By taxing its sale and distribution, revenue could be generated to fund new parks, road repairs, and the 2,000 IMAX theaters that will be petitioned to be built
  • Potentially fatal blow to the kitchen scale industry
  • Creation of multiple jobs, including a service that dispatches assistance to your home to help you remember what you walked into a room to get
  • Amplifies that initial awkwardness of arriving at a bowling alley, seeing ashtrays, and still being unsure whether you’re allowed to smoke
  • Possible Big Lebowski sequel
  • The peace of mind that comes with no government intrusion on your God-given freedom to eat an entire jar of cashews