🎉 CAFE’s Super-Tuesday Drinking Game 🎉

(Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Want to enjoy yourself while watching one of the longest, most irritating nights of cable news ever? Here are some rules to get you started!

Ben Carson slowly realizes he’s still in a presidential campaign Take a shot of room temperature grappa
You spot one of Ted Cruz’s staff butchering a Chris Rock joke from the Oscars Drink 1 lukewarm IPA
Marco Rubio gracefully loses Minnesota Pour out some Bordeaux in memoriam
Marco Rubio sorely loses Minnesota Pour out some Old English in memoriam
Hillary Clinton is caught eating on camera Soak a loaf of bread in cheap bourbon before consuming in one sitting
John Kasich is seen checking himself for the pulse he knows he lost 20 years ago Clean a wound with Tito’s Vodka to make yourself feel alive
Killer Mike begrudgingly endorses Hillary after coming to terms with the delegate math Sober up
Somebody incorrectly calculates the number of won delegates on live television Drink 2 — no wait, 3 — mugs of tequila and then try to answer random password security questions
A pundit says the phrase “the race within the race” Take a shot within a shot of Bacardi 151
Jeb Bush reenters the race Shotgun 3 Mike’s Hard Lemonades