CAFE’s 2017 Top 10 Dumpster Fire List

Illustration: Max Knoblauch

2017 is a year that will live in infamy. 2017 had the deadliest mass shooting in modern history, white supremacists rallied around the country with zero shame, and Tomi Lahren’s career didn’t end. While there are so many people to thank for this hellscape of a year, only a small selection deserve the distinct honor of being included in our list of Dumpster Fires.

10. Stephen Clark
The law professor who just HAD to waste everyone’s time by suing Alamo Drafthouse for “discrimination against men with women-only screenings of Wonder Woman.” He really showed women!

9. Travis Kalanick
From sexual harassment cases to allegedly stealing from Google to monthly resignations (including his own), Uber’s co-founder and former CEO couldn’t keep the company together and spent 2017 redefining the meaning of a dumpster fire.

8. Wayne LaPierre
Thanks to its soulless lobbying, the NRA played a major part in Congress’ inaction on gun reform. Its president, LaPierre, is also responsible for the quote used by every right-leaning gun owner after every mass shooting: “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” Actually, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is preventative legislation and access to quality mental health care. Just ask every other country that’s implemented gun control, LaPierre.

7. Jason Kessler
The main organizer of the Charlottesville white supremacy rally, Unite the Right. The chilling protest gave prominence to white supremacists, led to one death, and provided Trump an opportunity to plug his Charlottesville winery during the infamous “both sides” press conference.

6. R. Kelly
Despite BuzzFeed’s devastating investigative report, the man who responded to the question “Do you like teenage girls?” with something other than a decisive “NO!” is still touring the country and making music.

5. Mitch McConnell
Turtles are usually gentle creatures that don’t try to kill millions of Americans by taking away their healthcare over politics.

4. Paul Ryan
The Ayn Rand devotee chased his libertarian dreams by almost kicking poor people off Medicaid and keeping them in perpetual poverty.

3. Sarah Huckabee Sanders
There is a special place in hell for women who don’t believe 19 other women who’ve accused Donald Trump of sexual harassment and assault.

2. Cis Men
Harvey Weinstein. Matt Lauer. Kevin Spacey. Bill Cosby. Bill O’Reilly. Tavis Smiley. Mario Batali. Charlie Rose. Russell Simmons. Louis C.K. Brett Ratner. Dustin Hoffman. Terry Richardson. Roy Moore. T.J. Miller. Matt Damon. I’m starting to get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from all this typing so I will stop here.

1. Donald Trump
No explanation necessary.