A Few Off-The-Beaten-Path Locations For Amazon HQ2

SEATTLE, WA - JUNE 16: An Amazon logo is seen inside the Amazon corporate headquarters on June 16, 2017 in Seattle, Washington. Amazon announced that it will buy Whole Foods Market, Inc. for over $13 billion. (Photo by David Ryder/Getty Images)

As retail giant Amazon considers where to build its brand-new second headquarters, dubbed HQ2, cities have pulled out all the stops to woo Jeff Bezos. Cities like Chicago, Tucson, and Birmingham have all been rumored sites for the company’s next big investment. I would like to offer a few, shall we say, slightly more obscure locations for HQ2. Think about it, Bezos!

My friend Terry’s house.

He’s got a pool and a trampoline!

Roswell, NM.

Two words: Alien. Employees.

The creepy house from IT.

That place could use the $5 billion investment.

International waters.

Imagine streaming a knife fight on Amazon Video.


Bezos vs. Musk for intergalactic supremacy.


Throw ‘em a bone.


Conflict of interest, schmonflict of interest.

The Cloud.

Would help with real estate costs.

New York.

Just to piss off Boston.

The Amazon River.

Amazon on the Amazon is the Singularity.

Seattle Again.

Seattle’s great, guys – what are we doing?