OK, so, first off: don’t panic.
We’re sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation why your crush hasn’t liked your latest Facebook status update — the one in which you confess your totally unique and endearingly quirky love for avocados.
It’s not the status update’s fault. It’s such a good update. It totally makes you seem “adorkable.” They will eventually like it. How could they not? After all, 10 people — including your weird improv friend! — liked it already.
So the question isn’t if your crush will like the status; the question is why haven’t they done it already? Here are 7 extremely plausible reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with the status update not being as amazing as you think (because it totally is).
1. They are eating lunch
A perfectly innocent reason. There are some people that don’t check social media while they eat. Maybe they’re in a “working lunch” or something—which means your crush has a job! Nice.
2. They are shopping for a new belt
That’s a thing people do that requires their complete and full attention, right? A belt is such an essential part of any wardrobe that you really can’t risk checking your Facebook while you’re shopping for a new one. What if the one you get isn’t normcore enough?
3. They temporarily disabled Facebook
Facebook can be a little overwhelming at times. A lot of people are deleting or disabling their Facebook lately, because it’s just too much. So maybe your crush is sensitive. That’s good! They could soon be your own little sensitive snowflake! ❤️
4. They are punching Nazis
You may have noticed that neo-nazis seem to be taking over lately; and since folks can’t fight them with reason, appeals to basic human decency, or empathy, a lot of people have opted to go with punching instead. We’re not about to condone violence but, as far as reasons for not liking your status update go… could be worse.
5. They were drafted into the armed forces
Let’s hope not. You’d probably know if there was a new war going on, right? That definitely feels like something that would be trending on Facebook.
6. They just don’t like it
LOL. JK. (See above for why this is totally out of the question.)
7. They are in a coma
Being in a coma would be a really good reason for not liking your 🔥 status. You should probably stop reading this and make sure they’re NOT in a coma, come to think of it.