If you’ve been paying attention to the news at all, first seek therapy — we all need it — and second, you probably know that White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer eats two-and-a-half packs of Orbitz gum per day.
Not chews—eats. He swallows the gum. He does this.
Every. Single. Day.
Now that we’ve established Spicer’s oral habits, here are some other things Sean Spicer may have swallowed:
1. All the little bones from a game of Operation
“I’M THE OPERATION BOY, NOW,” we imagine Spicer yelling.
2. A whole Auntie Anne’s jalapeño & cheese pretzel dog
Imagine a sea lion gulping down a herring. That’s how Sean Spicer eats his meals. There is very little chewing going on here, folks.
3. Exactly 18 checkers
It was the only reasonable way to win the game against his cheating daughter. What game? What checkers? They’re gone now. Oh, and by the way, I won.
4. The wrappers of the gum that he eats
You probably thought Spicer was unwrapping the gum before chewing it. WRONG! Sad! He is not. He just puts the whole pack in his mouth, lets it sit on his tongue for a brief moment… and then swallows it whole.
5. The soft part of the podium microphone
You know the soft little covering thingies they put on the mics so Sean won’t sound too loud ? Yeah, he eats those, too.
6. Coins totaling $15.92
Sean recently found out about wallets; but old habits die hard.