6 Tests North Korea Should Take Before Testing Another Hydrogen Bomb

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North Korea declared on Tuesday that it just successfully tested a hydrogen bomb…by detonating it…along its own northeast coast.

As long as they’re so into tests these days, here are six more that the world’s most dangerous states should take before deciding to ratchet up the nuclear arms race for no goddamn reason.

The Bar Exam

Because laws are a thing North Korea should think about putting into place.

An AP World History Exam

Students in the DPRK are frequently taught that North Korea won World War II. Even if you think someone “won,” it’s definitely not the country that was then occupied by both the United States and the USSR.

The Myers Briggs Test

We’re just curious. Is North Korea  an INFJ or an ENFJ? On one hand, it’s super isolationist, which makes it kind of an introvert. On the other hand, it just detonated a hydrogen bomb, which makes it kind of an extrovert…and fucking insane.

The GMAT

Who doesn’t think North Korea getting its Masters in Dance Pathology would help those synchronized shows of love to the supreme leader become a cathartic experience instead of something people have to do for food?

An Emotional Intelligence Test

This is more to see if they can achieve the lowest possible score, which is probably previously held by Joseph Goebbels.

Cafe Quiz: Who Said it Ben Carson or Mac from Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

It’s funny and the DPRK definitely needs a laugh that doesn’t come at the expense of the atmosphere or the earth’s crust.