In the first month of the Trump presidency, the White House has had to deal with a substantial number of leaks. A leak prompted National Security Advisor Michael Flynn to retire, a leak revealed a tense phone call with the Australian prime minister, and a leak showed that Trump was upset that his press secretary was played by a woman on Saturday Night Live.
But where do these leaks come from? Well, White House leaks are nothing new, so we have some tips about where Trump can start looking:
1. The second sink in the bathroom next to the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room
This sink has had issues for years. Years! Yet nobody seems to have the willpower to fix it. We suspect this will change now, as President Trump has stated that he has no tolerance for leakers.
2. The pipe in the wall of the State Dining Room
This has been particularly embarrassing, since it often leaks when foreign heads of state are visiting.
3. The elegant bathtub of the Presidential Bedroom Suite
Some of the most intimate details of past Presidents’ private lives have been ruined because of the leaks coming from this tub. I don’t think we need to say names (William Howard Taft).
4. The refrigerator in the Family Kitchen
This appliance has undermined several presidencies, and although the White House janitorial staff tries to fix it, it only seems all right for a few months before leaking again. We wouldn’t be surprised if it was gearing up for another massive leak.
5. The underground pump for the fountain in the South Lawn
The South Lawn of the White House is often used for public events, which makes this leaking pump even worse. Think of all the people talking around the fountain who could have their lives disrupted by this leak!
Jim has worked at the White House for a few months now, and he’s taken to saying the World War II-era phrase “Loose lips sink ships!” This is very suspicious, and also annoying.