CAFE INVESTIGATION: Which President Would Build A Better Wall, Donald Trump or Ted Cruz?

You're welcome

After realizing that Republican voters respond really well to outlandish promises, Ted Cruz has jumped on the “let’s build a wall between The U.S. and Mexico” bandwagon, which made Donald Trump cry, “Not fair! That was my idea!”

This got us thinking, how might a Ted Cruz wall differ from a Donald Trump Wall? Let’s dive in.

Donald Trump’s Wall Ted Cruz’s Wall
Made From Calacatta Marble Made from donated crosses
Waterfall pools at each mile marker Carvings depicting the stations of the cross
Frescos of Donald and Melania Trump saluting the American Flag A mosaic depicting Ted’s favorite Princess Bride scenes
Golden plaques dedicated to made-up historical events like the great 2018 Battle of The Wall Golden plaque dedicated to the day President Cruz won the War on Christmas
A quote from Donald Trump engraved into the marble that says “I Told You I’d Build A Wall!” – President Donald Trump Mural depicting Ted throwing out Obamacare
Paid for by Mexico Paid for by prayers